Before I go

Those of you who know me well are aware of how out of context this picture surely must be. Indeed I have spent a bit of my time with my lips wrapped around copious liquor bottles in the past months, but these days they are fewer and farer between. As the date of my departure grows terrifyingly close I find myself in a near constant state of panic. I awoke a few nights ago at 3:30 after a delusional dream involving myself getting lost in the Amsterdam Airport, and decided the only fix would obviously be a bath. No matter that there were currently four other people in the house asleep. One said roomie(the brother) since moving in has managed to rip out the towel rack, get toothpaste all over the mirror every morning, and as of recent clog up the drain. As part of this (or previous) neurosis I can't bathe until tub is cleaned and properly prepared. So off to the store I go. At 4 a.m. there is only one place to go for a good drain clog-Wal-Mart. So it was on my way there that I begin to think of all the ways I can potentially fuck up this trip, and it doesn't take long for the wine from the previous evening begin to ebb at the back of my throat. I made it to the LayAway bathrooms before I yaked. There may be more humbling experiences, but I haven't had one quite as poignant in a while. It was at this time I wondered if it would be worth sneaking a few Xanax through this three day flight ordeal-if it means a bit less time spent near the loo. Then again, if I can get to Amsterdam, surely they sell something to ease my mind a bit at the airport....